The Myriad Misadventure(s) of Jeffrey Woods
by Dorminchu
Summary: An affectionate, yet gritty retelling of a much beloved Creepypasta.


_A/N: Kicking off this story with a new novelization (?) of Go to Sleep (for that is what the tale was called originally) with a few twists here and there. Tell me what you think, if you want, and stay tuned! :)_

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><p>The car trundled down the smoothly paved road towards the street. Inside, Peter and Margaret Woods fought to see through the violent glare of the sun's rays.<p>

Towering houses surrounded them, enclosed by white fences and tall iron gates. The lawns were artificially vibrant, resembling those found in a gardening commercial or a reality show. A few even had fountains out front.

Two boys sat in the back of the previously mentioned vehicle. The trip had certainly taken its toll on their patience; after several hours of tedium, they were both itching to stretch their legs. The lankier, darker-haired of the two gaped, staring awestruck at the sheer size of the houses around them.

"Holy _shit,_" he mumbled, "Jeff, you gotta check this out, man! This is amazing!" Jeff, who had been engrossed in the process of texting some of his old friends, rolled his eyes.

"I swear to God, Liu, if this is just another herd of cows, I'm going to—"

"Your brother's right, you know." his mom turned in her seat to reassure them both. "Check it out!"

Jeff glanced up out the window, squinting through the glare. It was pretty impressive, even if he wasn't about to admit it. "Yeah, well, they're just a bunch of houses. You don't have to get all mushy about it." Liu was practically bouncing in his seat.

"Compared to the shack we lived in? We're kings, man! Fuckin' _kings_!" He grinned wildly at his brother. Jeff considered the urge to laugh, then punched his shoulder instead.

"Middle class living conditions usually don't involve a shack, bro."

Liu was too lost in his newfound delight to notice. Jeff sighed, and went back to his phone. But he'd only pulled it out for a few seconds when the car stopped, and his mom called his attention. "Oh, Jeff, you have to see this house! It's beautiful!" Jeff sighed, tucked his phone into his pocket and slumped outside into the bright sunshine.

He shielded his face and took in their house.

Three stories with two alternating tiers; red brick and wood. The place looked more like a museum than a place you'd plan on spending the rest of your days.

Liu nudged his arm. "Look on the bright side, bro. At least we'll have separate rooms."

Jeff smiled unenthusiastically. "Yeah."

As they unpacked, a woman sprinted enthusiastically from across the street to greet them, a pale blue apron flapping in front of her as she moved, clad in tight fitting jeans and a simple turtleneck. The effect was slightly comical.

"Hello!" she said breathlessly, pushing a few locks of brown hair from her face, panting, "I heard you guys just moved in, so I thought I'd introduce myself! I'm Barbara Dawson." She grinned, revealing teeth so white they looked sun-bleached. "Well, I just wanted to say hi and welcome you to the neighborhood. Let me call my son." She turned back towards the opposing street and cupped a hand to her mouth, "Billy! Neighbors are here! Why don't you come over and say hi?"

A young, sandy-haired boy looked up from the front yard of a canary-yellow house, said something indistinct to his friends and jogged over from the yard to the group of adults. He didn't look directly at any of them, staring pointedly at their shoes. He looked about twelve.

"Hey." He said.

Jeff nodded. Liu waved.

Billy glanced up at his mother to gain her approval, then dashed back towards the canary-yellow house to where his friends were waiting.

"Well," said Jeff's mom, "I'm Margaret, and this is my husband Peter," —Peter offered his hand— "and my two sons, Jeff and Liu." Jeff and Liu followed their dad's example. Barbara's palm was clammy and suffocating against Jeff's hand, and he shared a discreet look with his brother while the adults chatted.

Then Barbara dropped a bombshell:

"Billy's birthday is next week, and, well, I thought I'd invite you newcomers to the party!"

Jeff and Liu stared at each other, then they both opened their mouths, about to object, when their mom spoke up, "Oh, that's sweet of you. Sure, we'd love to!"

The two boys shared a look of indignation.

As soon as Barbara was gone, Jeff rounded on his mother.

"Mom, why would you invite us to some kid's party? I'm fifteen, not some twelve year-old."

"Jeff," said his mother sternly, "We just moved here. We should show some interest in the neighbors' lives so we don't come off as a bunch of introverted weirdos. Now, we're going to that party, and that's final." Jeff opened his mouth to argue, but stopped just as quickly, knowing that resistance was futile. Whenever his mom said something, it was final.

He grabbed his luggage and stalked up to the house.

"Pick a room, and it's yours." his father called. He made his way upstairs and, after a minute or two of searching, found a room with a bed in it. Jeff sighed in relief, plopped down on the bed without bothering to unpack.

This was so unfair.

A bout of self-disgust struck him. Jeff chuckled bitterly. God, he sounded so _whiny_. It was pathetic.

As he stared up at the ceiling, a sensation came over him. The best way he could identify it as was a sense of restlessness. He grunted, dismissed it as just some stupid, delayed reaction to this whole scenario. Besides, he thought, he couldn't go around like some _Debbie downer_ as Liu was apt to call him. Then his mom's voice sounded from downstairs:

"Jeff? I know it's great to have your own room, but you can savor it later! We need your help down here!"

Jeff exhaled, and sat up on the bed. He'd probably have time to think about everything later.

With that faint ray of hope fresh in his mind, he walked down to help his family.


End file.
